While Jim Parsons‘ character on The Big Bang Theory seemed to have it all figured out, the actor was struggling to keep up with his success.
Parsons, who played Sheldon Cooper for 12 seasons on the hit sitcom, said the role took a toll on his mental health. At the time, he couldn’t help but feel “stressed” and “miserable,” which took away from celebrating his accomplishments.
‘Not happy’ and ‘stressed’
“I look back now and realize that there were many ways, at some of the best moments of my life, I was miserable,” Parsons said on the “All Out with Jon Dean” podcast. “I was not happy. I was stressed.”
“I felt that there was so many plates I was supposed to be keeping in the air and that the success and the good things of life that were happening were only due to this overworking … discipline and whatever,” he continued. “And maybe to a degree that was true. I don’t know.”
The cost of his work ethic
The Emmy-winning actor said his discipline played a part in his success but that the strain it caused just wasn’t worth it in the end.
“I wouldn’t do that again — and for any amount of money … just because it was stressful and miserable at times. I made myself miserable,” he said.
“From your own work ethic?” host Jon Dean asked.
“If you want to call it that,” Parsons replied.
“It translated in part into a work ethic, but it was really just obsessive behavior basically,” he said.
Obsessive behavior
Parsons admitted that being a perfectionist came with habits he now knows he didn’t need.
“Yes, I was disciplined. Yes, I had a good work ethic, but a lot of it was because it was kind of OCD in nature,” he said,
“I had a list of things basically in my head that I had to get done in order to be comfortable and know that I could do my job right, which I don’t think was true,” he explained.
Missing out
Parsons said his compulsive tendencies led him to skip out on “tons of life” that didn’t fit his strict schedule. Even in hindsight, he’s unsure whether he could have managed things any other way.
“I don’t honestly know,” he told Dean. “In the same way, I can’t go back. … I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I hadn’t had that time of life.”
“And the somewhat self-tortured nature of it was part of it,” he added. “So I don’t know what to tell people. … Like, I don’t know how much of that is necessary.”